Katherine "Katy" Lee Ormes

My Most Precious, Most Beloved, Most Beautiful Katy. “Because that you are going, and never coming back…”, is something I learned from Emily Dickinson, as well as “There’s a Certain Slant of Light…”, Which came streaming out of our home on the morning of November 20, 2024, and when the light had left, you yourself had left, and were now Gone Forever! And oh, how I cried, my love. And oh, how devastated I was – my heart was broken and shattered, my spirit was crushed, and my soul was wounded forever. I felt like my heart had been ripped right out of my chest, thrown to the ground, and stomped on. I couldn’t bear the thought of never talking to you, ever again, and never hearing your sweet loving voice, and your joyous laughter, ever again. And never seeing your exquisitely beautiful, radiant face, and your gorgeous angelic, heavenly hair, and your magnificent, sparkling eyes, ever again – You were a ravishing goddess, more beautiful than anyone I had ever seen! And along with your beauty, also was taken from me the true love of my life, and the reason for my living – my entire existence, the everything that I am, it all left with you. And oh, how I miss you, my love. And oh, how I miss the twinkle in your eyes, and your warm loving smile, every time I walked into the room. And oh how I miss hearing you telling me constantly, how much you loved me, and how much you appreciated me, and how forever grateful you were that I was taking care of you, and was always protecting you, and was always looking out for your best interests. And I know my love, that you didn’t’ know you were leaving. Because if you would have known, you would have had so much to say to me before you left. But you never said a word to me about leaving – You only talked about our plans together for the Holiday Season, and what you wanted us to do together in the coming New Year. And I couldn’t bear to tell you my love – it seemed so cruel and hurtful to me and telling you wouldn’t have afforded you any relief or comfort but would have only made your pain and suffering worse. So, I want to tell you now that I really, truly tried to save you my love, and I did everything within my power to keep you here with me. But I was no match for the insidious neurological diseases that condemned you to death. They were all of unknown cause, with no known cure, and progressed relentlessly until death finally won out. And my herculean efforts to keep you with me were all in vain. And it tortured me to see you going, to see you leaving, right before my very eyes, while knowing there was nothing, I could do to stop it. So I gave you every once of love that I had within me, and every bit of encouragement I possessed, and all the loving care I could give to you, and tried to fulfill ever wish and desire you asked of me, during those dreadful final weeks and days before you finally left me. And now, I only hope that you know, I did the very best that I could humanly do for you – I couldn’t have done any more my love! And I want you to know that you always were the love of my life, and that you always will be the love of my life! There will never be another love in my life, now that you are gone. There will never be another one to take your place. There will never be another one living with me in our home. You will remain alive within me, and will be with me, every day that I am still alive. And I want you to know just how much respect and admiration I had for you, and for the way you lived your life. You were given the short end of the stick when you were born – a heartbreaking, never ending disfavor, from an unjustified, lifelong sentence of poor health, all through no fault of your own. If there was a ‘bad gene’ somewhere within your family history, you got it, while the others did not. You had to scrape and scrimp and save and fight, tooth and nail for everything you ever had in your life – nothing was ever given to you, and nothing was ever easy for you. And you never let it get you down – you kept on fighting, and you never gave up, or ever gave in, and you persevered through all adversity, and you challenged every roadblock ever placed in your path. And you suffered horribly because of your lifelong disabilities, through incurable physical and mental illnesses, and hideous traumatic personal relationships, and a standoffish, indifferent, disinterested, family, that you said gave you only cursory, spurious, feigned ‘love’, but never gave you any real tangible, meaningful help or moral support. You said you suffered alone your entire life, until you met me. And then you said you finally found someone who was willing to help you, and stand side by side with you, as you continued to fight the war you had been waging your whole life, just to survive, and to stay alive. And I did my very best my love, to help you fight those battles. And in spite of it all, you did triumph in the little joys of life that brought you pleasure, that you could cling to, and keep for your very own. And you never complained about your hardships, and the battles you could never win, or about the lot in life that you were dealt. And you were always grateful and appreciative for the very few blessings you did receive, and for the rare small gifts and treats that you had wrung out of your extremely difficult life – those little ordinary, everyday things which gave you such great joy and pleasure. And you taught me there was always something good, happy, and joyful to be found, even in the very worst situations. And you showed me what it felt like to be really, truly loved by someone. And you made me know, for the very first time in my entire life what it was really like to love someone so much, that I would give up my life for that person. I would have gladly given up my own life, if I could have saved your life my love! And I hope with all my heart, that your life was better because of me being in it – better than it would have been had you never known me. And when my time comes to leave this earthly plane, I know I can count on you to keep your promise to me, when you told me many times, “My Tom, if I get to heaven before you do, I’ll poke a little hole and let you through.” And I will be coming through soon to join you my precious beautiful love, to spend eternity with you. And I know you will be waiting for me with your arms open wide. And when I finally do get my love wrapped around you again, I will never let you go. Our love will remain for all eternity. This world that you left was never meant for anyone as beautiful as you. Please know I will be joining you soon. I love you  my precious, beloved, beautiful Katy, your forever loving Tom!